The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I'm having to shit out rocks
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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