jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
