ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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