is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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