if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
