I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
