That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
