Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
