omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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