the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
