everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
