On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
