I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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