just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
