I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
