It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
