How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
