ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
