Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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