my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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