so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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