Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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