Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
