Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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