weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
