Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
