Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
