remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
