I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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