So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
