are you still at the devil's house?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
