Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
