she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So squirting runs in the family.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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