it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize