Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
