i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
