Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize