there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
