I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
