the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
