What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
