awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
