his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
