Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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