A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
