There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
