What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize