I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize