Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
