my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
