The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
