I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
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