he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
