I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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