I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
