Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
