the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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