so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
