Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
