i don't like sucking hair
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize