I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
